


sleepless nights are cold, the only warmth is a candle light

by Saturn_Atlas



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (not really descriptive also it like one line), Angst, Found Family, Gen, Kinda, No Dialogue, Paranoia, Sad Wilbur Soot, Sky Gods - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, Trust Issues, Wilbur Soot Centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27277009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturn_Atlas/pseuds/Saturn_Atlas
Summary: wilbur is a broken man. he’s been patched up so many times that the bandaids don’t stick anymore.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot, Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, these all are really just mentioned kinda
Comments: 5
Kudos: 243
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	sleepless nights are cold, the only warmth is a candle light

—-

wilbur doesn’t remember anything about his life before he met phil. he knows he didn’t just appear in this world as a ten year old boy. still, everything before is seemingly been wiped from his mind. 

the only sliver of his past he has is that he come to phil with a fear of the tide, a phobia of heights and a distrust of people.

it had never really bothered him, he never cared much. even when he met schlatt and he felt an ice-cold rage rush to his head as if he’d been holding onto emotions from long ago. even then, he didn’t care or notice.

—-

underground in the carved stone of pogtopia wilbur lies awake. paranoia eats away at him. he is afraid. he’s been betrayed many times before. he knows that he still has his family and that they would never leave him because family is forever.

so why, why does he hear voices telling him that no one can be trusted. he’s never been given a reason to distrust his family, their all he’s ever truly had. still he cannot bring himself to trust they won’t betray him. 

he works and works, to get a country that maybe wasn’t ever his back. he’s always tired and his thoughts just grow louder. his right hand man is always out, always looking for his best friend or gathering something. his backup, his brother farming and stacking up to always uphold his reputation.

techno is an anarchist, he works for himself. he is feared and admired by many people. techno is calm and collected but don’t forget what he is known for. wilbur laughed to himself. yes, his brother is practically a god. a god of blood.

(a pale blue abyss. the rambling of a lonely boy. ancient gods watch as their child plays.)

wilbur knows techno isn’t on his side, because why would a god care for mortal lives? he can’t trust tommy either, always seen with the spy. (who’s tubbo really spying for?) wilbur can’t trust his brothers, he knows they’ll betray him soon. 

pogtopia is damp and cold when wilbur finally falls asleep after almost three days. the ravine is empty, neither of the other brothers are home.

—-

_ you’re being pulled under rushing water. you hold you breath and suddenly you’re freezing. you try to swim up but the surface just keeps getting farther and farther away.  _

_ you can’t tell if you’re sinking or the water is rising. you’re so cold you can’t swim up anymore.  _

_ instead you just close your eyes and you feel your head explode. water rushing into your mouth and nose, you choke. _

_ you start to panic as you hear your name be called. _

_ you wake up to a boy hovering over you (have we met before?)  _

_ he pulls you to your feet so fast you tumble toward him. just before you crash into each other you blink.  _

_ you blink and you catch yourself from falling of the edge of a platform into lava. you hear laughter and you look up to see the same boy, much higher then you are, laughing down at you. your chest feels with ice, you go to take a step forward but you scream and your feet are in lava. _

_ you’re burning, it’s so hot and he’s just laughing and you hate him, you hate him, you hate him.  _

_ you burn and now you’re floating. you stand on one block in a void. the air is stagnant, there’s no wind and it’s chilly . you see the sun and a block appears in your hand.  _

_ your island is small and made up of varies blocks you rarely see. you are holding a water bucket.  _

_ (milo? milo? please, don’t leave me.) _

_ (rushing, raising water. cold, so cold, please i’m cold. i’m lonely.) _

_ (bubbling and flowing lava. everything is burning. my friend, i’m on fire. i’m melting, my friend. i just got you.) _

_ (gods control you. you’re a puppet, no, a doll. stay in your place, little one. play our game. it’s fun, isn’t it? are you laughing?) _

_ —- _

wilbur wakes with a scream, his voices cracks. he touches his face, he’s crying. he’s afraid and his chest and head are ice cold but his hands and legs are on fire. 

he doesn’t remember the last time he had a nightmare. he can only hope his brothers aren’t here. those traitors would definitely use his vulnerable state to break him. 

he looks at the clock, it’s early morning. that’s the longest he’s slept in over two weeks. he feels heavy both his body and mind, but he has work to do.

wilbur stands up and wonders as he goes to get ready. the dream he had feels less like a dream and more like a distant memory. he doesn’t remember much of it. there was a boy but wilbur can’t seem to make out his face. in his mind it’s more of a familiar silhouette then anything else.

it doesn’t matter though because he has things to do.

as he breaches the surface he spots tommy tying up his horse. wilbur flinches as tommy notices him and waves. ( _ don’t trust him. protect him. _ )

tommy says hello and starts talking about his morning. ( _ he’s lying, traitor, traitor. he’s safe, he loves you.) _

wilbur is missing something. he is getting colder and a fire has been kindling. he knows something’s wrong. everything has gone wrong. 

when tommy talks about tubbo and mentions schlatt, the ice spreads to his collarbone and fuel is added to the flame. wilbur realizes from that moment that none of them are in control. everyone has something festering inside them. he can see it. that’s why they betray and switch sides. 

everyone’s burning. some of them have managed to put out the fire, only for it to be replaced with a chill that never goes away. 

wilbur isn’t like them though. for them, the fire will leave charred flesh. for him, the fire travels fast because it comes from lava. for them, the cold will be nothing more then a never needing gust of wind. for him, the cold comes from the air and ice, it travels from his heart making it hard to breath. 

(they’re all just the gods playthings, toys to be used until they break. wilbur broke a long time ago, but the gods just coo and patch him up. he’s they’re favourite to play with. )

wilbur doesn’t know what will get him first, the flames licking his boots or the frost cracking along his shoulders. he’s turning into ice, he’s becoming a frozen statue. he’s melting from his feet up. 

he’s running out off time. he needs to do something before they met. he doesn’t want to be fixed. he wants this to be his last-

he doesn’t want to be around for the aftermath this time. he’s tired, so, so tired. 

wilburs lost, he knows that. he has nothing anymore. he’s always been stoic, collected and calm. emotions are rising. he is angry, he is careless, he is numb. most of all he is done being used and broken. it’s his turn to get back, isn’t it? 

_ they’ll see _ , he thinks,  _ they’ll see when it’s nothing but ash. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> reread it to fix mistakes idk if i got them all :p. comments are appreciated ! ! anyway hope y’all enjoyed :)


End file.
